


A Very Happy Easter to You, from Barnes

by aireagoir



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Digital Art, Easter, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Fluff and Humor, Holidays, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-05-29 10:47:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6371779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aireagoir/pseuds/aireagoir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mission Assist Aireagoir has been kind enough to type out my best wishes to you this holiday, and ask a few questions I have.</p><p> --Bucky</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Mission Assist Building has informed me that today, March 27th is the day many people around the world celebrate as Easter. Apparently for the religious it is centered around the belief system that a primary savior-figure has been brought back to life; for the secular it is a time to eat peanut butter flavored candy in pastel foil wrappers.

I have faint recollections of the holiday. Most of my recollections are centered on the fact that this holiday has no set date. There is comfort in knowing the exact day a holiday is supposed to occur. For example, December 25th is Christmas for Christians every year. I am, therefore, confused by people who say they did not have time to purchase presents. December 25th occurs precisely between December 24th and 26th without exception, the same time each year. One may purchase a gift on, as an example, August 14th if one cared to, then save it. It is perplexing behavior.

Leaving that aside, I am lacking information about the rituals to expect in a modern-day Easter celebration. I know we have not been acquainted very long however in that time it feels as though we have shared incidents through mutual acquaintances that could accurately be described as bonding experiences. Therefore, it seemed probable that I may turn to you for advice or insight. Thank you in advance for your assistance. Here are my questions and observations, ordered least to most importance:

  1. Please clarify mission parameters for the “Easter Bunny.” Requiring a rabbit to produce eggs filled with candy plus delivery to children is not reasonable labor distribution.
  2. There are many rituals involving eggs, including the Greeks suspending one from the ceiling in order to hit the egg with their head, and English people who go from house to house asking for eggs then break them in a sieve in order that the last person with an intact egg may win a prize. Is the prize a large omelette?
  3. Please explain the nature of an “Egg Hunt.” During this exercise within Avengers Tower yesterday to maximize efficient egg retrieval without civilian casualties I fetched all 2,089 eggs from the SI community kitchen, placed them in a wheeled laundry basket for ease of transport and brought them forth to the staging area to await further instruction. Dr. Banner brought back 9 hardboiled eggs damaged by discoloration and was declared the winner; parameters of exercise unclear.
  4. According to JARVIS Easter is a symbol of renewal, hope, and the belief in spring. It appears a cornerstone of the holiday tradition is to murder thousands of chicken fetuses by way of boiling then dye the shells to mark the graves. How is this appropriate?
  5. What are jellybeans? In the 1930s I saw an advertisement for them once and assumed them to be a spreadable bread covering. However, I have encountered them since and the ones I got were clearly defective as they were small, rounded pellets of a grainy texture in flavors obviously meant to be a prank, such as “buttered popcorn” and “cantaloupe.” Please advise.
  6. What are the shredded plastic things labelled Easter grass? Are they designed to be an element of holiday decoration pinned securely into the hair as a festive addition to one’s celebratory attire? 
    1. If not, Pepper and Maria are in BIG trouble
  7. Peeps. Explain.
  8. I have read this day commemorates the day that Jesus came back to life, escaped a large tomb that was covered by an enormous rock, then resumed trying to get things done on Earth the Earthlings had not yet accomplished. Are we SURE Jesus was not from Asgard?
  9. Finally, Steve has reassured me several times that the revival of this Jesus person is viewed by celebrants as a positive, indeed comforting, cornerstone of religious faith, not a zombie apocalyptic event that would reign chaos down to all of the world as we know it. Let me assure you, were the cornerstone of my faith in humanity, Steve himself, to die I would not regard this as positive or comforting. Homicidal, ax-wielding cyborg anguish and despair doesn’t begin to characterize the hellfire I would personally shower on untold thousands of innocent casualties as my understanding of love and faith as I know it would disappear for all eternity. 
    1. Oops! Forgot to mark movie night with everybody May 6th.



**_I extend wishes for a nice Easter Holiday from Mr. Miles, Eduardo and the rest of the gang through mission assist Aireagoir. May you know love and chocolate on this holiday._ **


	2. The Easter Bucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I have no idea what I did wrong. Steve told me to put on my favorite suit and get ready for the annual "Avengers Assemble for Kids" Easter egg hunt.  
> I did exactly what he asked.  
> Rogers is difficult.

I think I look nice.

Happy Easter 2017, everybody.

**Author's Note:**

> Please share with anybody you know who could use a chuckle or some escapism from family today. A3O has become a very special place for me in the short time I have been here and I thank all of you who encourage me, entertain/inspire me with your own work, and make this a fun place to be.


End file.
